I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
