apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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