But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
