I wish I could teleport
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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