new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize