I didn't shave. On purpose
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
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