how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
A bitchslap is in order.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
