She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
