I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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