my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize