Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
When did angry sex become our thing?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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