I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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