Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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