He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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