There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
