you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
