matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
