i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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