Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
