My hair reeks of homosexuality.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
