oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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