I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
