I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
