May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
