Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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