I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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