how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
