And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
