Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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