he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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