I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
