What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
