We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
