Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I don't deserve a penis
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
