you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
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Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
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I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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