just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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