I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
