Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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