omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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