I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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