You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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