To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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