HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she told me i tasted like america
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
All I want is dick and wine.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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