very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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