Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
