I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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