i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
