I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
