Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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