Are we in a gay sports bar?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize