The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
so much tequila, so little girl.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
