OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
