I just pynch a tree in the face
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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