maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
