Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
