i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
