making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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